Lucette and The Medlar Tree

I's a shame you cannot hear this tree, it is veritably buzzing with bees and singing with birds, as well as being in full bloom in November. According to all the information I have gathered the blossom is meant to be in Spring, our Neflier Tree, as it is called in French blossoms when it wants. Quite interesting though, the information on the Neflier, as with many a plant and food lend themselves to play on words, the Medlar Tree 'is used figurativley in nature as a symbol of prostitution or premature destitution' because, apparently the fruit is rotton before it is ripe. I have nicked this from the Wikipedia site, which I must say is an excellent source for all types of things.

One of the quotes it uses is from Romeo and Juliet which is quite rude and bawdy and 'bowlderized until modern editions accepted it' I had to look bowlderized up in the dicitionary. It means to remove passages or words from novels and plays regarded as indecent. being blessed with an indecent sense of humour I love a bit of rudery.

Mercutio laughs at Romeo's unrequited love for his mistress Rosaline

'Now he will sit under a medlar tree, and wish his mistress were that kind of fruit. as maids call medlars when they laugh alone. O Romeo, that she were, O that she were, an open-arse and thou a poperin pear'

How naughty is that! When I worked at the Watermill Theatre in Newbury as restaurant Manager and Chef, I used to try and glean something from the plays to create my menus. I was always easy with Shakespeare, particularly Twlefth Night, one of the main dishes on the menu was Braised leg of Mutton and Caper Sauce. The quote, Sir Andrew' Faith I can cut a caper' to which Sir Toby responded 'and I can cut the mutton to't'

The fruit of the medlar tree is quite delicious, and you may ask yourselves how Lucette fits into all of this, but she does you know, I may nick quotes from Internet sites, but Lucette nicks the fruit from our trees. She says ' can I pick one or two you won't be wanting these will you Tess',  'one or two' I say only to find that the whole lot have gone. The creaping meaness that can be me began to stifle my thoughts. I needed to take serious action, how could I prevent all the fruit picking neighbours from nicking all our fruit, the wicked wild boar were bad enough, now we had daylight robbers of the human kind! Ha ha I thought I know I shall leave notes under the trees asking people nicely not to take the fruit and they didn't. Until I had too much fruit and I had to implore them to come back and take some.

We also have a quince tree or coing in french, our neighbour very politley asked if he may have some for Jam. 'not on your nelly' I thought. It is for me, me and me alone, and I am going to make quince Jam.  Of course, by the time I picked the fruit most of it was rotton and fermenting and being gulped up by the pigs, most of what was left on the tree was riddled with worms and the few good ones have been sitting in the kitchen in a whicker basket waiting to become jam. I think the moral of this story is. Always let your neighbours nick your fruit.

Tomorrow the sorry tale of Charlie and The Chainsaw, and the Pimply Pillock who tried to mend it.

Comments

[Ellie]

Or in my case just know you will never get round to it and leave them to drop and feed the earth beneath. Good story Tess, it is only 8am and I have learnt something already! Cant wait for the next one. Love you lots Ellie

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